david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
