where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize