shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
