you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize