I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize