I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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