Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize