That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
