how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
