If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
