im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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