I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
