That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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