three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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