Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
