I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
