he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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