Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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