She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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