9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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