the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
