these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
