I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
