do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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