I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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