im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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