I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
even my farts smell like vagina
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
