my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
