I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
