Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
