I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
