You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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