The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
zippers are such a cool invention
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
