just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
