I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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