how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
