You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
