When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
