please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You smell like stripper and shame
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
