Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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