I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
