IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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