I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
