oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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