I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize