im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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