Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
