everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
