thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
