Buhtt sex?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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