I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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