So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
