Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
