SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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