ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
