I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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