Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
