I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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