He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
